“I have often heard it said that the thing you want appears when you least expect it, after you have totally given up hope. But, deep in my heart, I can sense that I have not really given up hope. Which makes me wonder if my allowing hope to live is what is clogging up the plumbing. On the one hand, I think that maybe if I start to admit that ‘yes, I am in the Hole. I have finally given up hope,’ then that very admission will speed up the process of sending a healthy relationship my way. And on the other hand, I worry that the very act of forcing myself to prematurely give up hope in the name of speeding things up is in fact an act of hope. Either way I’m screwed.” – It’s My F—ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe

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