How to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity
How to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair-dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “INBOX.”
- Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your cheques , write “FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS”.
- Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”
- Dont use any punctuation.
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
- Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
- Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
- Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
- When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I Won!”, “I Won!” “3rd time this week!!!”
- Go to the zoo and run around the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!”
- Tell your children over dinner. “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
Posted in Advice, Etc., Humor, Reads, Theory
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