Dear Mom …
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend. I found real passion and he is so nice, with all his piercing and tattoos and his big motorcycle. But it’s not only that mom, I’m pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s one of my dreams.
I’ve learned that marijuana doesn’t hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and his friends, who are providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasies we may want. In the meantime, we’ll pray for science to find a cure for AIDS, so Ahmed will get better. He deserves it.
Don’t worry Mom, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’ll visit for you to know your grandchildren.
Mom, it’s not true. I’m at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than a report card… that’s in my desk drawer.
Posted in Etc.