Humor Archive
Things to do for a Dateless Valentine’s Day
Things to do for a Dateless Valentine’s Day Wear black, and lots of it. If someone else in the office has received flowers, chocolate, singing telegrams, and other forms of dating expressions, glare at them. Snarling and grunting optional. Same goes for anyone wearing excessive amounts of red. Especially if they are wearing heart-shaped items [...]
The Art of Peeing – LUAQuotes.com
The Art of Peeing Written to a woman who accidentally walked into a men’s restroom… Please don’t feel bad, lady. It wasn’t you entering the men’s washroom that caused that guy to pee on the guy next to him. Hell, we do that all the time. It’s rare for us guys to ever hit what [...]
"It's pretty funny how when you're trying to get over someone and then you see him again and it's like you're hit in the face with how gay he is and you just wanna throw up for ever liking him, but you can't take any of that back-all you can do is hope that he is suddenly attacked by a large animal."
"I heard the sad sigh, I see your shoulders are slumped, and I'm aware that you have some whiny-ass problem that you want to talk to me about because you probably think it'd be cathartic to get it the hell off your chest but believe me it won't be. What you've got to do, for me, is the healthy thing. Keep all of your feelings bottled up inside where they so belong! " - Scrubs