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How to Build Your Own Love Kit

How to Build Your Own Love Kit … Jolly Rancher – for all the times you make me laugh Sweet Escapes – for the special times we spend alone Hugs & Kisses – yours are simply the best 100,000 Bar – you are worth more than a grand to me Skittles – for the rainbow [...]

Rules for Settling or Not

Rules for settling or not If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be. [...]

Words Women Use –

Words Women Use “FINE” This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments. “FIVE MINUTES” This is half an hour. [...]

Things You’d Love to Say at Work

Things You’d Love to Say at Work I see your point, but I still think you’re full of crap. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. How about never? Is never good for you? I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. I’m [...]

Permission slip to date my daughter –

Permission slip to date my daughter APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. NAME _______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ________________ HEIGHT ____________________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q _______ G.P.A.______ SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ [...]

What My Mother Taught Me –

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside – I just finished cleaning!” My mother taught me RELIGION “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.” My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to [...]

The Meaning of Some Flowers –

The Meaning of Some Flowers Carnation: Woman’s love Daisy: Innocence Lilac: First emotions of love Orchid: Rare beauty; fertility Rose: Love Tulip: Eternal love Amaryllis: Pride; splendid beauty Red Carnation: My heart aches for you Daffodil: Unrequited love Gladiolus: Love at first sight Hydrangea: Thank you for understanding Iris: Friendship means so much; hope Lily: [...]

Beauty Secrets

Beauty Secrets For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone. People, even [...]

To The Girl Who Will Replace Me –

To the girl who will replace me by Amanda There are just a couple of things that I thought I should tell you. I learned these while I was the object of your guy’s affection. First of all, don’t be frightened if he smothers much more love on you than you had expected. Don’t be [...]

For the In-College or College-Bound

For the In-College or College-Bound Maybe the time has gone, the faces, I recall. But things in this life change very slowly, if they ever change at all….The scary part being that we’ve all been hit with change lately, and it doesn’t seem to have come slowly at all. Do you remember the day you [...]

Things to do for a Dateless Valentine’s Day

Things to do for a Dateless Valentine’s Day Wear black, and lots of it. If someone else in the office has received flowers, chocolate, singing telegrams, and other forms of dating expressions, glare at them. Snarling and grunting optional. Same goes for anyone wearing excessive amounts of red. Especially if they are wearing heart-shaped items [...]

The Art of Peeing –

The Art of Peeing Written to a woman who accidentally walked into a men’s restroom… Please don’t feel bad, lady. It wasn’t you entering the men’s washroom that caused that guy to pee on the guy next to him. Hell, we do that all the time. It’s rare for us guys to ever hit what [...]