“She had to protect herself from herself, from that little girl inside still looking for a happy ending.” – Pink by Marilyn Griffith

“I gotta be sure that you really mean what you say.” –  Hilary Duff, “the getaway”

“When somebody’s trying to love me completely I get scared.” –  Hilary Duff, “burned”

“So much running through my mind.  First you wanna be free.  Now you say you need me, giving mixed signals and signs.  It’s so hard to let you in, thinking you might slam the brakes again.” –  Hilary Duff, “the getaway”

Dear Boy …

Dear Boy,

I am writing you this to ask of you a few things, and to also tell you I love you. Here goes: Please understand that I have feelings and cry, a lot, about stupid things mostly. But I know they are stupid things, so I do not need you, or anyone else for that matter, to remind me. And that when I do cry, all I need is the comfort of your embrace to stop my tears. If you do not know why I am crying, or I refuse to tell you, please accept that openly – as you will most likely find out later. If the reason does happen to involve you, I will mention this to you as soon as I pause in my hysterics. You must also understand that I am a woman. Yes, I menstruate and I am especially sorry if I go into too much detail [but oh it hurts]. And yes I know sweetie, PMS is not a legitimate reason for my pissy moods. But that anger and/or stress can quickly be relieved by a new pair of shoes or purse [BCBG will do just fine, thanks]. And please do not grumble or complain if I ask you to come with me, when I go shopping. I will not ask you if I look fat, I promise. I already know the answer to that, anyway. I might however ask you if this looks nice on me [translation: does my ass look good?]. And yes I will probably spend an obscene amount of money in one day, but do not worry, because I like to shower my loved ones with gifts, so we would not leave a store without buying something for you also. Taking you on shopping trips is also helping you, decide what to give me for my birthday, our anniversary [if you remember], Valentine’s Day, etc. But still, as much as I love Diesel, Kenneth Cole, Steve Madden, Prada and other luxury items, nothing makes me happier than something you’ve created yourself [example- decorate a frame with a picture of us in it]. Those are the best gifts, that even if in 25 years I end up hating you to pieces, I will never throw out. Please forgive me if I go to the, bathroom with my other girlfriends, in what you like to call, a ‘pack.’ But we go in there to talk about you, anything we say you will probably hear about later anyway but we must first discuss it with our fellow confidants. Also forgive me if I get upset with you if you don’t notice my haircut-but a girls’ hair is her treasure. Although negative an inch off my luscious locks seems immeasurably small to you, it’s massive to me. And I will ask you to lie to me and tell me it looks good, and will end up getting mad at you anyway for lying to me. I have to work on that. I also have to work on getting ready faster — 20mins is not enough time. At the least, an hour is necessary. I apologize for this, but isn’t the end worth the means? Please trust me, because I will never give you any reason not to, so please do not give me one. So that boy, that you sometimes see me with and I sometimes talk to, he, is after all, only a boy, nothing more. If there ever is another person involved I will let you know immediately – the chances of that happening, however, are slim to none. Please do not lie, or cheat on me. Because I will always find out [girls always know] and it will not be pleasant. Just tell me the truth, hearing it from you before your friends will be much safer, for everyone, in the end. Please do not be afraid of my parents, they really are, nice folks. My mother finds me dating, amusing and my father cannot bear to see his little girl growing up. He will not hurt you, I promise. [My brother on the other hand...I'm kidding....] He just looks out for his little sister. It is okay if you do not like my friends. I know, they are different kind of people but I love them for that. They may scare you, even anger you, but please know that there is a reason I’m friends with each one of them. Besides, I probably do not enjoy the company of some of your friends, but that’s why they are your friends, not mine. I am independent. Sometimes I will need you but for the most part I am my own person and can make my own decisions. So do not order my meal for me when we go out to dinner. I have my own eyes to read the menu and my own voice to speak to the waiter. I will want to go out on my own, occasionally, or with friends and but most often with you. I, however, do not act different in front of my friends than in front of you- please don’t either. Because you have no one to impress but yourself [and me, sometimes]. I know that it will be difficult to pick out a movie we both want to watch, but we will find a happy medium and compromise. If we are in the theatre, I may want to hold your hand or rest mine on your leg, but watch where you put yours. [Because darkness does not equal getting some ass, and I did not pay $8.75 to do things we could do at home.] Oh and another thing, I like to talk on the phone. I understand that you do not and that is okay- I accept that. But know that I love voices, especially yours. It’s warm and comforting so maybe sometimes in the middle of the night I will need to hear it. Please be kind to me, as I will to you. But not too kind, because there is such a thing as too nice of a guy. Do not say or do things just to pacify me, because after a while that will get boring. I do not want to walk all over you, do not walk all over me. I know you have feelings too, so I want to hear them. If ever something is wrong let me know right away because things will get better, faster, that way. If you choose not to tell me, I will still be able to see it in your eyes. You can hide nothing from me. I will also remind you now that I am a hopeless romantic- I like hugs from behind, kisses just because, and notes saying hello. I too understand that doing some of these things may be difficult for you [you will not be any less of a man if you do] but I enjoy them greatly. Also, sometimes just holding each other is enough. Simply lying close and watching you sleep is sufficient for me. And yes, sex is a big deal to me. I value myself too much to just go around handing it out, I will not compromise myself. I will not, though, tell you about my past with other guys and likewise, I do not care about your exes. Because no matter who she is, I hate her, she is the enemy. This is the unwritten law all girls must follow. So my name is not Stacy, Lauren, or Ashley, it is Ines. If by chance, you happen to forget that, there will be problems. It is alright if we disagree, or argue- that will happen sometimes unfortunately and it will kill me. Please do not get mad at me if I do not know what sport the San Antonio Spurs play [basketball]. And it’s okay if you think football is the greatest sport ever, but I prefer manicures and writing. I’m sorry if I’m not much for a challenge to you when playing a new game on your play station. I swear, I really do enjoy it, but me not being a boy, I was not born with a natural ability to be good at all video games known to man. It’s okay if you don’t like to dance ’cause, honestly, I don’t like to dance all that much either. Just slow dance with me, occasionally, either in the privacy of a home or in public- because dancing is good for us. Do not be ashamed to go into Victoria’s Secret with me. You must know that I do not enjoy being called cute when I am sick or angry. Because I am the farthest thing from cute when I am sick or angry, it makes me think that you would like to see me this way more. Also, this is something you must understand to fully love me. I am not a size 0 or 2. I will never be either of those sizes, nor do I care to be. Although sometimes I would convince people otherwise from all my moaning and complaining. But I have curves, and I enjoy them [I think you do too]. I am, after all, a woman. My hips are wide and my breasts are full, that is just me and you must accept that, as I have. I am insecure about myself, and I will need the reassurance from you that I am beautiful, even though I will never truly believe it. Yes, I do look better with makeup on. I do not believe in natural beauty, so excuse the morning makeup routine, I try to look great for you. And sometimes my pants are too long, that is why I always wear high shoes, but I will never be taller than you, so do not worry. I may walk with my head high, not moving for anyone. My nose may sometimes be in the air, but I am never better than anyone. It is a disguise; it’s really just flaming insecurity. But if you shower me with love and confidence, I will be okay. And now, I have just a few more favors to ask of you. If you need to cry, please do [I will not tell your friends]. If you need to talk [or scream/yell] I will be here to listen, always. Do not be afraid to ask for my help, with anything. We all need help sometimes and that is part of the reason I am here. Please forgive me though, if my attempts to appease you fail, but I will try- as sincerely and honestly as I can. Also know that I love you, and in a small way, will always love you, even if we fall out of love with each other. Which someday, may happen. And if it does, I will be angry, and throw fits and cry. But after awhile, with some time I will get over it. I am not sure how much time, but eventually, I will. Just be there for me, despite the fact that I will tell you to go away and scream ‘I hate you’s’ that I do not mean. Please, never hurt me intentionally. I am delicate and sensitive, as I have mentioned before, I cry easily. I act strong, by putting up a barrier, a fortress, but you are the most likely person to tear it down the fastest. I am vulnerable to you; my heart is putty in your hands. And you are left holding it, ready to be molded.

Dear Boy

“I can’t believe you’re the one for me… if it were this easy to find you, I should be ready for a fall.” – PJ Olsson

“My grief is so old it’s a habit. It is so much a part of me that I’m afraid to give it up.” – Ask Again Later by Jill A. Davis

“I wish I wasn’t afraid all the time, but… I am.” – v for vendetta

“And I’m not afraid to tell you I’m a little bit scared. the way things are going I’m never gonna get there.” – Jann Arden, ‘the way things are going’

“I was in my hotel room, worrying what hypothetical and amazing thing might happen next, yet afraid to find out.” – Ask Again Later by Jill A. Davis

“‘The thing that’s always concerned me about you is that you live your life with one foot out the door. It’s unsettling.’” – Ask Again Later by Jill A. Davis

“I think that I’m afraid of being happy. Whenever you get too happy, something bad always happens.”

“A couple hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success: ‘Never leave that till tomorrow,’ he said,’ which you can do today.’ This is the man who discovered electricity. You’d think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of rejection. Sometimes, the fear is just of making a decision. Because, what if you’re wrong? What if you’re making a mistake you can’t undo?” – Grey’s Anatomy

“You’ve done it, you’ve made me start to fall in love with you. I’m sitting here crying because I’m so scared but at the same time, I’m so happy I’m falling in love with you. You’re the person I’ve waited for all this time, the person I’ve looked for all my life and when I least expected it you walked into my life. You listened when I talked, was there when I cried and made me finally smile. I’m crying for the last time I hope, I trust that you won’t hurt me. It’s so hard for me to trust guys, but you’re worth it to me. So, here’s my heart, see all the little cracks… they’re pretty small and healed nicely, but you, I know, that you’re the one that could make it completely shatter. Promise me you wont, please, promise me you’ll love me forever, and that you won’t break my heart. Even if you can’t promise me that, I’ll give you my heart anyway, cause I know that if I don’t give you my heart I’ll regret it for the rest if my life, cause you’re the one person who is necessary to my life.” – Kate Tierney

“Now I tell you openly, you have my heart so don’t hurt me.” – The Cranberries

I need you to trust me and believe me when I tell you that my heart is with you. Part of me feels like ever since we got back together you’ve been waiting–waiting to push me away. – One Tree Hill

I’ve been something I’m not for so long, and I’m scared you won’t like what’s underneath. But here I am, just flesh, blood, and

Maybe it’s easy for you but it’s not for me. I don’t really like feeling this vulnerable. – Everwood

“I know that was our first date, but next time, don’t be afraid to put a little feeling into it.” – Scrubs

“So now I know how you feel. And I kind of know how I feel. I don’t want to start things if they won’t be finished, but I don’t want to turn my back on what could be the best decision I ever made. So I just sit here, in awkward silence, trying to decide what to say, because I can never relive this moment again.”

“I’m afraid I’ll end up alone. I’m scared that I’m always gonna be the ‘sister’ or ‘friend’ or the ‘confidant,’ not quite somebody’s everything. I’m scared that I’ll never find a guy that I’ll love as much as I love you.” – Dawson’s Creek

“I can’t let myself get lost in his arms, that’s how I got my heart broken before.”- Mindy McCready

“Give me a moment here.  Just enough to catch my breath.  Something is happing here and it’s scaring me to death.” – LeAnn Rimes, “break me down”

“Every time she looks at me, I believe it’s love, and I’m not ready for this sort of thing.” – Counting Crows, Anna Begins

“Can I trust the way I feel cause my heart’s been fooled before, am I just seeing what I want to see or is it true, could you really be someone to have and hold with all my heart and soul? I need to know – before I fall in love.” – Coco Lee

“I think that what I’m afraid of isn’t that we try this and it works out really badly. What I’m afraid of is we try it and it works out really well. I’m afraid of feeling everything that I know I would feel. Because I know it’s not meant to be.” – Roswell

“He’s the reason I’m messed up, the reason I can’t get myself into another relationship, No matter how hard I try, no matter how bad I want to, I’m scared. I’m not scared of getting hurt….I’m scared of hurting someone else. I don’t want anyone to feel how he made me feel. I don’t want anyone to hurt that bad.”

“What if we already met the right person, but we weren’t ready to fall in love?”

“He’s like this goal that I have that I want to reach so bad, but the thought of actually getting him is so scary that I’ve stopped trying.”

“Please just don’t play with me. My paper heart will bleed.” – All-American Rejects, “my paper heart”