“Sometimes it feels like everyone’s moved on, but they all miss you in their own way. Mom, there’s not a day that goes by when I don’t think about you. The good news is I know now I’m not crazy. I was saved by a beast. He didn’t get there in time to save you, but he’s still out there. And I have a feeling that now, we’re going to have to save each other.” – Beauty and the Beast

“Chance made us sisters, choice made us friends.”

“Sisterhood is the essence of all the wisdom of the ages, distilled into a single word. You cannot see sisterhood, neither can you hear it nor taste it. But you can feel it a hundred times a day. It is a pat on the back, a smile of encouragement. It’s someone to share with, to celebrate your achievements.”

“I am standing before you today with a troubled heart. I’ve insisted on taking responsibility for your lives that I am really, just like a first time parent, who makes mistakes and learns as he goes along. And like that parent I find myself at that moment when i have to decide, do I hold on or do I trust you to yourselves. Do I let go and hope that you have understood my lessons. If we don’t start trusting our children how are they ever to become trustworthy.” – Footloose

“‘But with your children, you discover talents you didn’t know you had. You can make such a difference: point their way in the world, give them memories that’ll inform their lives years later.’” – Best Friends by Martha Moody

“I love being a mother of a two-year old. It is like being a movie star in a world without critics.” – I Don’t Know How She Does It

Mean Moms

We had the meanest mother in the whole world!

While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You’d think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds. Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn’t let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16. Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing others’ property, or ever arrested for any crime.

It was all her fault. Now that we have left home, we are all God-fearing, educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that’s what’s wrong with the world today. It just doesn’t have enough mean moms anymore.

Mean Moms

What My Mother Taught Me

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE

“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside – I just finished cleaning!”

My mother taught me RELIGION

“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL

“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

My mother taught me LOGIC

“Because I said so, that’s why.”

My mother taught me FORESIGHT

“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

My mother taught me IRONY

“Keep laughing and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS

“Shut your mouth and eat your supper!”

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM

“Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!”

My mother taught me about STAMINA

“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is finished.”

My mother taught me about WEATHER

“It looks as if a tornado swept through your room.”

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS

“If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?”

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY

“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times – Don’t Exaggerate!!!”

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION

“Stop acting like your father!”

My mother taught me about ENVY

“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do!”

THANKS, MOM!

What My Mother Taught Me

“When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned 21, I was astounded by how much he had learned in the past seven years.” – Mark Twain

“i’ve got money in my pocket. i like the color of my hair. i’ve got a friend who loves me. got a house, i’ve got a car, i’ve got a good mother — and her voice is what keeps me here.” – Jann Arden, ‘good mother’

“sure i love my parents, but they’re going through this phase of thinking I’m too young to make my own decisions, about anything, i guess this is what usually happens to parents, when you’re born they have to do your thinking for you because you can’t do too much of that yourself, and they get into the habit, they keep trying to think for you practically all your life.”

“That’s the thing with teenagers. They think all their parents want to do is keep them from having fun, when they’re really only trying to save them from broken hearts.”

“What appeals to you the most is the very thing that will drive you crazy, I think–and it’s really true. I used to love how picture-perfect the Grahams’ world was. I admired their wealth, their success, their closeness–how even rebellious James (who finally moved out of his parents’ guest house) manages to show up in church most Sunday mornings, albeit with bloodshot eyes and a distinct aroma of cigarette smoke on his wrinkled khakis. I loved that they all consult with one another before doing things, are fiercely proud of their family name and traditions, and that they all put Stella on a pedestal. I loved that nobody had died or divorced or even disappointed.” – Love the One You’re With by Emily Giffin

“And although we certainly had our struggles and heart aches over the years we’re a family of survivors and we will always be.” – charmed

“I am the mother and you are the daughter. In some cultures, that means you have to do what I say. ” – Gilmore Girls

“I don’t want to get married because I see how my parents are.” – Reality Bites

“Julian: My father always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. Any time I had any success he would remind me of my failures. I see that in Brooke. She’s so talented and good-hearted and beautiful, but she carries around this feeling that she’s not good enough. And she has you to thank you for that. Good work. Victoria: Are you finished? Julian: No, not yet. I love your daughter. I’m in love with her. And one of these days she’s gonna love me back and when she does I want you to understand something: you’re either gonna learn to be nice to her, or you’re not gonna be in her life. Nice to meet you, Victoria. Feels like I’ve known you all my life.” – One Tree Hill

“Blood means you’re related, it doesn’t mean you’re family.” – Boy Meets World

“They say that from the instant he lays eyes on her, a father adores his daughter. Whomever she grows up to be, she is always to him that little girl in pigtails. She makes him feel like Christmas. In exchange, he makes a secret promise not to see the awkwardness of her teenage years, the mistakes she makes, or the secrets she keeps.” – Everwood

“I have this poster hanging in my living room, Paul. Of course I’m upset. And the only reason that it’s hanging there is because you took him to see that movie, and for one day, that boy felt close to his father. He felt loved and appreciated. And the sad part is that there was only one of those days. Because in my book, the day that he didn’t feel that way should be the unique one. Fix it.” – One Tree Hill

“I was spinning out of control. You forced me to grow up. If I haven’t said it before. . . Thank you.” – DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

“I’m a full-time dad. I’m a working parent. I’m a mother and a father. I’m a guy who reads parenting books and cookbooks before I go to sleep. I spend my weekends buying tutus. I’m learning to sew. I’m Mr. Napkin Head!” – the holiday

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that you make your own family.”

“I think maybe that happens sometimes to girls who lose their mothers when they’re young, they’re very driven to succeed.” – Dawson’s Creek

“The thing about family is that you don’t necessarily like what they do but you stick by them.” – grey’s anatomy

“Family. There is nothing more important. They’re the ones who show up when we are in trouble. The ones who push us to succeed. The ones who help keep our secrets.” – Desperate Housewives

“The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don’t. But, in the end, they’re the people you always come home to. Sometimes it’s the family you’re born into and sometimes it’s the one you make for yourself.” -Sex and the City

“Children come into the world with their own agendas. Some to brighten our days, some to test our patience, some to give us purpose, some to take care of us. Yes, when they come children change everything.” – Desperate Housewives

“There’s an old proverb that says you can’t choose your family. You take what the fates hand you. And like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not, you cope. Then there’s the school of thought that says the family you’re born into is simply a starting point. They feed you, and clothe you, and take care of you until you’re ready to go out into the world and find your tribe.” – Grey’s Anatomy

“Family should always hug, regardless of how they feel about each other.” – Desperate Housewives