It’s My Fing Birthday by Merrill Markoe Archive

"'someone liking you is a good thing, not a danger sign.'" - It's My F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe

"I have often heard it said that the thing you want appears when you least expect it, after you have totally given up hope. But, deep in my heart, I can sense that I have not really given up hope. Which makes me wonder if my allowing hope to live is what is clogging up the plumbing. On the one hand, I think that maybe if I start to admit that 'yes, I am in the Hole. I have finally given up hope,' then that very admission will speed up the process of sending a healthy relationship my way. And on the other hand, I worry that the very act of forcing myself to prematurely give up hope in the name of speeding things up is in fact an act of hope. Either way I'm screwed." - It's My F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe

"i looked like i was trying very hard to be something i was never intended to be, and failing in the most embarrassing way possible." - It's My F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe

"i have to trust my instincts. when i have started to lecture myself in order to bypass them is when i know i need to worry." - It's My F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe

"I have high hopes that this year will be the year the dumb girl in me finally dies. she is long overdue for a painless, or even a painful, death. I'm so sick of listening to her try to convince me of things I know don't make any sense: that the plots of romantic movies are plausible; that men who have cheated repeatedly might suddenly decide to turn over a new leaf; that guys who are assholes might turn out to be more considerate in time." - It's My F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe

"there is no more intense reading than the kind you have to do when you want other people not to think it is sad that you are dining alone." - It's My F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe

"the effect it had on my libido was so dramatic that I didn't know how to act. the dumb girl wanted to drag him onto the backseat of my car, pin him down so he couldn't escape, and start to unbutton his clothes. but my smarter self told me to get into my car alone immediately and get myself home." - It's My F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe

"which category was I? or was I too insignificant to even have a category?" - It's My F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe

"what was wrong with me anyway? here I had acquired Mr. Wonderful and I was scanning the territory for land mines. my refusal to believe that I was worthy of love was causing me to cast aspersions randomly and for no reason." - It's My F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe

“he was the asshole in this. he was the liar and the cheater. i was so lucky he didn’t call me.” – It’s My F—ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe