Merrill Markoe Archive

“From early childhood on, I was haunted by the feeling that no one could hear me.” – Walking in Circles Before Lying Down by Merrill Markoe

“‘It’s just that I’m so tired of everybody throwing up their hands every time a relationship hits a rough patch,’ I said. ‘I did it in both my marriages, and I swore I wouldn’t do it again.’” – Walking in Circles Before Lying Down by Merrill Markoe

“‘A relationship with the opposite sex is like buying a new American car,’ he said, mixing paint. ‘It starts out looking great, but it only keeps going for about two and a half years. Then you spend the next two and a half years trying to restore it.’” – Walking in Circles Before Lying Down [...]

“‘As a language purist, I can’t bring myself to say ‘grande latte,’ knowing that the rest of my sentence is going to be in English.’” – Walking in Circles Before Lying Down by Merrill Markoe

“‘And if none of this links to anything in you, well … I think you don’t know who I am. And that makes me think I’m just waiting around to be surprised that you’ve decided it’s time for you to get out of here. Again.’” – Walking in Circles Before Lying Down by Merrill Markoe

"'someone liking you is a good thing, not a danger sign.'" - It's My F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe

"I have often heard it said that the thing you want appears when you least expect it, after you have totally given up hope. But, deep in my heart, I can sense that I have not really given up hope. Which makes me wonder if my allowing hope to live is what is clogging up the plumbing. On the one hand, I think that maybe if I start to admit that 'yes, I am in the Hole. I have finally given up hope,' then that very admission will speed up the process of sending a healthy relationship my way. And on the other hand, I worry that the very act of forcing myself to prematurely give up hope in the name of speeding things up is in fact an act of hope. Either way I'm screwed." - It's My F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe

"maybe i needed to take more risks. maybe a checkered, goofy love life full of tragedy and strife, full of hideous lows and delusional highs, was better than a long blank period jam-packed with nothing. maybe this was the message the universe was trying to give me. it was instructing me to stop worrying about trying to get things right and just do something, anything. be vulnerable. don't think so much. live." - It's My F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe

"now I finally understood why getting involved with a musician was so dangerous. with a guy who has a regular job, like, say, a teacher or salesman, you have to use your imagination to provide yourself with the necessary obsessional data. you have to try to remember what they said or did or how they looked. you need photographs. or letters. you need to drive your friends crazy seeking out their opinions on your anecdotes, making them listen to you tell them over and over. you have to use applied teenage logic to make the songs on the radio seem to be about you." - It's My F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe

"when he whined about his aching heart was like a battlefield, why had he neglected to mention who it was who first declared war? exactly what really happened to all those girls he claimed tortured him because they just wanted to be free? did they really demand their freedom? or was it forced on them when they couldn't get a hold of him? maybe they all just went nuts trying to figure out how long he meant by 'soon.'" - It's My F---ing Birthday by Merrill Markoe