Scrubs Archive

"Listen, you should go ahead and enjoy this while you can Bobby, because if your evil genie actually does grant your wish and I disappear, the only person you'll have left to contend with will be yourself and when you really get to know that person...oh dear God you'll scream so loud that Satan will wanna rip up the contract you signed at birth just to get some sleep." - Scrubs

"The human brain is remarkable. Once a day for nine years, I thought I lost my watch 'cause I can't remember which wrist it's on. " - Scrubs

"Look, I wanna be like you... but a more successful you. There's nothing wrong with playing the game once in a while. Tell you what: Ten years from now, when I'm your boss, I'll go ahead and throw in a good word for you and you won't even have to ask... sir. " - Scrubs

"Look who peeked in his shorts and found a pair." - Scrubs

"You guys, you know, I've just gotten to know you as a couple, but you remind me of my grandparents. They were married for sixty-five years, and every night before Grandpa and Grandma would walk around the block, he would look deep into her eyes as if to say, 'I'd follow you anywhere.' Anyway, the way you two just looked at each other, I could have sworn I was looking at them. " - Scrubs

"People don't like me. You know why? I'm a 'screw-up', always 'have been'. For instance, when we were kids, Mom would always make me walk Johnny to school first day every year. Every year, I'd walk him to the wrong school! Just 'cause!" - Scrubs

"If I'm not back in twenty minutes, I don't want you to worry because it simply means I drove by a prostitute on the way home." - Scrubs

"yes, change is scary, but it's also inevitable. It's up to you to make the best of it. I mean, it's not like opportunity is just gonna fall in to your lap." - Scrubs

"It's funny. Every time I think you're the same old sharp-edged jack-ass, you turn around and do something to remind me that you're such a pansy. " - Scrubs

"You were there when I needed you without me even having to ask." - Scrubs