Permission slip to date my daughter

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE:

This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME _______________________________

DATE OF BIRTH ________________

HEIGHT ____________________

WEIGHT __________

I.Q _______

G.P.A.______

SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________

DRIVERS LICENSE # __________________

BOY SCOUT RANK____________________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS _________________

CITY/STATE ___________

ZIP _________

Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?___________________________

If No., EXPLAIN ___________________________________________________

Number of years your parents have been married ____________________________

Do you own a van? ______

A truck with oversized tires? ______

A waterbed? _______

Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring?

A tattoo_________________

(If “yes” to any of the two above, discontinue application and leave premises.)

In 50 words or less, what does “LATE” mean to you?____________________ _______________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or lest, what does “DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” mean to you? _________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ‘ABSTINENCE” mean to you? _____________________________________________________________________

Church you attend _____________

How often do you attend __________________

When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? __________

Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (that means I won’t tell anyone-ever-I promise.)

If I were shot the last place on my body I would want wounded is ________

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ________________

A woman’s place is in the ________________________________________

The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is _____________

When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her ______________

(NOTE: If your answer begins with “T” or “A”, discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

What do you want to be IF you grow up? __________________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

________________________________________ Signature ( That means your name, moron.)

Thank you for your interest Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be notified in writing you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases. (You might want to watch your back.)

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